Emotional Eating: Empathy

I have been thinking a lot about emotional eating lately, and it is something I really want to work through. So you may see a few posts here and there about it.

I have always felt like maybe I had an emotional eating problem but I didn't know how to put my finger on it. Plus, yes I do love food... and I enjoy eating it at almost anytime of the day. It is part of what is holding me back from seeing weight loss results. What I haven't ever considered is the fact that I am deeply effected (affected? I can't ever remember which is which.. lol) by not just my emotions from internal/external causes that involve me, but also with OTHER peoples emotions that don't involve me. Aka, empathy. I don't want to see other people get their feelings hurt, and so I try to avoid any potential situation that could possibly go wrong. I am taking someone's emotions, and making them MY emotions. Talk about massive emotional roller coaster wreck!!

In my mind, I want everything to be great and wonderful and happy. Everyone should just get along, treat each other kindly, and enjoy the moments we have with each other. But no, life just isn't that way is it? We all have our own opinions and pet peeves and weaknesses and insecurities that when combined cause drama. I realized today that I have learned to isolate myself from people because of that trait. It scares me to be around a potential blow-up session. I feel too much. Therefore it is just easier to just not let my emotions connect with very many people. Especially with people who have strong personalities, strong opinions, and aren't afraid of being strong even at other people's emotions expense. (Which is kind of ironic, because my husband has a pretty strong personality!) If I am not emotionally attached, then I don't have to feel the hurt that they feel. Then on top of that, I have replaced those people with food. Food is good, food is comforting. Food isn't mean, it is nice. Food is my friend. Haha, it sounds super weird to say that..!

I think women tend to be extra sensitive and we all learn to cope with it in different ways. Some like me, tend to isolate myself from too many relationships so that I don't have to feel. Others tend to attract others to them, becoming almost like therapists or counselors. Others shut down and develop strong personalities that only allow other people in on their own schedules and timing. But all of us deep down are rooted with the same character trait of empathy. Interesting! Same goes for men who are extra sensitive.

It is kind of empowering to realize that my empathetic nature is a strength, not a weakness. I always just thought I was extra sensitive and even weak for being that way. I have turned a positive trait, one that should be used to build others up into a weakness and a burden.

In the book called "Weight Loss for People Who Feel Too Much," Colette Brown-Reid notes that some of the most obese people in our country are those who care: Nurses, church volunteers, teachers, full-time mothers and grandmothers, etc. She then says, "Could it be that these women are taking on the weight of their overburdened communities?" I know you've heard the phrase "taking on the weight of the world" before! Then she says this, which I LOVE!

"What if, instead of beating yourself up for being overweight, you appreciated your kindness, sensitivity, compassion and generosity?
What if you made a commitment to show yourself and your body the love you show to others?
What if you came out of isolation and allowed yourself to feel?
What if you stepped back from your emotions and your persistent inner critic, and instead told yourself, You are a treasure. I am so honored to know you, to actually be you."

My body, Biggest Loser, and Exciting changes to be made here

My body tells me nooo! But I won't quit, cause I want more! I want more! ("My Body" by Young the Giant) Have you ever heard this song? It is a great motivator for a workout. It is also a perfect description of what was going on in my life yesterday. So, it wasn't the best of my days. I didn't have a very fulfilling weekend, and I felt frustrated on sunday and it carried over into yesterday too.. I was totally planning on going home after work, having a quick lunch, do a workout, come home and make dinner and clean the kitchen. I got home, ate a sandwich.... aaaand watched the biggest loser for almost 2 hours. Haha... which, totally made me cry! (not the fact that I had sat there for that long, although maybe I should have hahaha!) They had 3 kids on the show who were suffering from childhood obesity. I was a little skeptical at first because I was worried that Jillian was going to be mean, but she was so nice. I guess it struck a chord with me because I was a chubby kid and got made fun of a little bit for it in elementary.

 

Needless to say, after I realized I had been just sitting there watching OTHER people workout and work on their goals, I felt a bit crappy. So I decided to take out my frustrations on a good workout. I went to the stadium and walked/jogged for a good hour and felt much better! Then I came home and made myself some fried eggs cooked with asparagus and feta cheese along with a grapefruit (that tasted like candy, it was sooo good!). I so should have taken a picture to post on my recipe blog, but I didn't...

 

Anyway, so that was my day yesterday! It didn't start out so great, but I put forth the effort to make it better.

 

Something that I am SUPER excited about is that I found this app on my i-pad that I can make VIDEOS!! I just made one, although it is probably pretty amateur lol.. but I will be posting it soon so stay tuned! :)

 

Also, I am considering putting all of my graphic design pictures that I have been posting somewhere so that people can pin them, and use them for motivation. I am not sure how to do it yet, so if you have any ideas LET ME KNOW!

PMS

So, being a girl has its disadvantages. Normally I enjoy being a woman. But when that time rolls around, I literally feel like a different person. This is something that I really need to work through, because too much junk food is consumed. First I get super tired. It takes all my energy just to take a nap. Last week I took hour long naps everyday and fell asleep between 11-midnight. Did I workout? Sure didn't. Then I get emotional. Little things irritate and frustrate me sometimes to tears. Cute little things make me tear up. Then I get cravings for all kinds of snack food (basically anything high in fat, salt, or sugar). I just want to constantly eat. NOT good for weight loss. Then I feel restless! I feel like I need to get out and do things, yet I don't want to go anywhere. Is there a period of time that is more frustrating than this? I seriously doubt it. This is one of my down falls. (I have a lot of downfalls, lol) I am sure that one day, when I have my children I will be grateful that my body has the ability to create them. But for now, it just causes frustration.
So I decided to google PMS and how to reduce the frustration. This is what I found:
1. Improve your diet. (what!? no....I don't wanna!)
2. Exercise. (ok seriously? seriously.)
3. Make sure you get your vitamins. (I think this may be partly the cause for extra tiredness, since your body is using extra nutrients)
4. Get enough sleep. (yay, I did one thing right!)

Those were the most important ones I thought. They had some other like medication, but I just don't really care about medication... But that's a different subject. So, I may have failed this round.. but now I know I will just need to buck up and try even harder! :) Yay for being a girl! Haha

Coming to terms

Ugh.
That is exactly how I feel. You know what is super disappointing? When you set all these goals, you feel excited about them, and then you fail. time and time again. Aaaah!
I am not writing this for pity or for anyone to tell me its okay. I just need to vent. I am so tired of not achieving my goals. I have this problem with setting so many goals and setting them so high and firm that when I don't reach them I feel like even more of a failure each time it happens.
I try to take on too many things at once. I thought I understood that it was going to be hard, but I realize now that it is more than just setting a goal and doing it. There are other factors that play in, things that I failed to address or admit as a problem.
I know what I need to do to be healthy, the simple things. Eat healthy, get good sleep, exercise. But there can also be issues locked up inside that need to be dealt with. That is what I don't know how to deal with yet and I feel like I will never truly be successful at this until I come to terms with those problems on the inside.
Pretty sure I am a stress eater. When I feel like I am starting to fall or things are bothering me, I turn to food. It is not a healthy way to deal with my problems, and I need to face them head on. I want to set goals and feel successful but I am not sure I know how to start small. I don't know how to let go of all the high expectations I have set for myself. I am torn between pushing myself hard, not giving myself a break or allowing myself to be something less by setting low goals. But in doing so, I am destroying myself and my confidence. It needs to stop.
I need to find out what my triggers are throughout the day, the emotions I feel and when and what kinds of food I choose to eat at those times. So here is my new plan!

All I am going to focus on is writing what I eat, when, what feelings I had/have and the struggles going on inside. Thats it. No tracking calories, no tracking how many workouts and how long they last, just writing. Also, I am going to start reading about positive ways of dealing with stress.

I know I am going to run into a problem.. that is, I am not used to writing everything down. I barely write in my journal once a month. So how am I going to do this multiple times a day? And what do I need to do if I forget, or just don't do it? Well, I don't know other than just trying again the next time.