Emotional Eating: Empathy

I have been thinking a lot about emotional eating lately, and it is something I really want to work through. So you may see a few posts here and there about it.

I have always felt like maybe I had an emotional eating problem but I didn't know how to put my finger on it. Plus, yes I do love food... and I enjoy eating it at almost anytime of the day. It is part of what is holding me back from seeing weight loss results. What I haven't ever considered is the fact that I am deeply effected (affected? I can't ever remember which is which.. lol) by not just my emotions from internal/external causes that involve me, but also with OTHER peoples emotions that don't involve me. Aka, empathy. I don't want to see other people get their feelings hurt, and so I try to avoid any potential situation that could possibly go wrong. I am taking someone's emotions, and making them MY emotions. Talk about massive emotional roller coaster wreck!!

In my mind, I want everything to be great and wonderful and happy. Everyone should just get along, treat each other kindly, and enjoy the moments we have with each other. But no, life just isn't that way is it? We all have our own opinions and pet peeves and weaknesses and insecurities that when combined cause drama. I realized today that I have learned to isolate myself from people because of that trait. It scares me to be around a potential blow-up session. I feel too much. Therefore it is just easier to just not let my emotions connect with very many people. Especially with people who have strong personalities, strong opinions, and aren't afraid of being strong even at other people's emotions expense. (Which is kind of ironic, because my husband has a pretty strong personality!) If I am not emotionally attached, then I don't have to feel the hurt that they feel. Then on top of that, I have replaced those people with food. Food is good, food is comforting. Food isn't mean, it is nice. Food is my friend. Haha, it sounds super weird to say that..!

I think women tend to be extra sensitive and we all learn to cope with it in different ways. Some like me, tend to isolate myself from too many relationships so that I don't have to feel. Others tend to attract others to them, becoming almost like therapists or counselors. Others shut down and develop strong personalities that only allow other people in on their own schedules and timing. But all of us deep down are rooted with the same character trait of empathy. Interesting! Same goes for men who are extra sensitive.

It is kind of empowering to realize that my empathetic nature is a strength, not a weakness. I always just thought I was extra sensitive and even weak for being that way. I have turned a positive trait, one that should be used to build others up into a weakness and a burden.

In the book called "Weight Loss for People Who Feel Too Much," Colette Brown-Reid notes that some of the most obese people in our country are those who care: Nurses, church volunteers, teachers, full-time mothers and grandmothers, etc. She then says, "Could it be that these women are taking on the weight of their overburdened communities?" I know you've heard the phrase "taking on the weight of the world" before! Then she says this, which I LOVE!

"What if, instead of beating yourself up for being overweight, you appreciated your kindness, sensitivity, compassion and generosity?
What if you made a commitment to show yourself and your body the love you show to others?
What if you came out of isolation and allowed yourself to feel?
What if you stepped back from your emotions and your persistent inner critic, and instead told yourself, You are a treasure. I am so honored to know you, to actually be you."