Coming to terms

Ugh.
That is exactly how I feel. You know what is super disappointing? When you set all these goals, you feel excited about them, and then you fail. time and time again. Aaaah!
I am not writing this for pity or for anyone to tell me its okay. I just need to vent. I am so tired of not achieving my goals. I have this problem with setting so many goals and setting them so high and firm that when I don't reach them I feel like even more of a failure each time it happens.
I try to take on too many things at once. I thought I understood that it was going to be hard, but I realize now that it is more than just setting a goal and doing it. There are other factors that play in, things that I failed to address or admit as a problem.
I know what I need to do to be healthy, the simple things. Eat healthy, get good sleep, exercise. But there can also be issues locked up inside that need to be dealt with. That is what I don't know how to deal with yet and I feel like I will never truly be successful at this until I come to terms with those problems on the inside.
Pretty sure I am a stress eater. When I feel like I am starting to fall or things are bothering me, I turn to food. It is not a healthy way to deal with my problems, and I need to face them head on. I want to set goals and feel successful but I am not sure I know how to start small. I don't know how to let go of all the high expectations I have set for myself. I am torn between pushing myself hard, not giving myself a break or allowing myself to be something less by setting low goals. But in doing so, I am destroying myself and my confidence. It needs to stop.
I need to find out what my triggers are throughout the day, the emotions I feel and when and what kinds of food I choose to eat at those times. So here is my new plan!

All I am going to focus on is writing what I eat, when, what feelings I had/have and the struggles going on inside. Thats it. No tracking calories, no tracking how many workouts and how long they last, just writing. Also, I am going to start reading about positive ways of dealing with stress.

I know I am going to run into a problem.. that is, I am not used to writing everything down. I barely write in my journal once a month. So how am I going to do this multiple times a day? And what do I need to do if I forget, or just don't do it? Well, I don't know other than just trying again the next time.

Coconut Banana Smoothie

I love sweets. It can be a problem and a hold-up for me in my weight loss. So whenever I create a treat of some sort that is semi-healthy I get really excited!! I usually use a banana, milk, the Breakfast Essentials chocolate powder and some ice cubes to make a chocolate smoothie. I don't know that it is super healthy, but its good! I figure its better than a full blown chocolate shake though!

Yesterday I had to improvise a little because we didn't have any milk. But we did have vanilla coconut milk! I also ditched the chocolate powder. I don't really like the coconut milk by itself or even with cereal, but this little smoothie of mine was actually pretty good! It reminded me a little of a horchata, those yummy white drinks in Mexican restaurants.

All you need is:
3/4 c vanilla coconut milk
1 banana (frozen or fresh)
ice cubes for desired consistency
dash of cinnamon

And for your nutritional info: 165 calories, 4g fat, 20 g sugar (but it is a more natural sugar...!)
Not too bad!

Strength Training!

Weight lifting.. isn't that for men? Women don't need to do it because we don't need big muscles, right?
Let me just tell you how WRONG you are!
Weight lifting is actually very beneficial for women. Don't worry, I'm not talking about going out and bench pressing 150 lbs 50 times a day. Unless for some weird reason you want to I guess!
I was thinking back on all that time I spent running on the tredmill, trying to work my butt off (literally!) to lose weight. For two months I did this pretty consistently and guess what. I never lost a darn pound! How frustrating is that!? It was still good for me to get that cardio exercise and I am not regretting it at all, but it sort of dawned on me a few weeks ago that I hadn't incorporated any strength training! Then I remembered the time about 5 years ago (yeah, it's been that long..) that I had lost a good 15-20 lbs. What was I doing? Yeah, I was running my heart out. But I was also doing strength training!
Thus, my little spill on why this is good for not only weight loss but for health too!
Did you know that strength training...
Increases your metabolism?
A study was done showing that women who did strength training 2-3 times a week gain 1-2 lbs of muscle and LOSE 3-4 lbs of fat.
Burns more calories per unit of time, even while at rest?
For every pound of muscle you gain, you will burn around 40-50 extra calories per day! The more lean muscle you have, the more calories you will burn!
Which facilitates body fat loss?
Which is why I lost weight much faster several years ago.
Makes your bones stronger, decreasing the risk for osteoporosis?
Yep, weight lifting increases your bone density making them less brittle.
Improves balance and athletic performance?
Well, obviously!
Reduces risks of injury, back pain, and arthritis?
Well, minus being sore for a few days after the workout.. :) But I think this is talking about more serious injuries.
Fights depression?
This makes me laugh a little, because I know that I work out a little harder when I am mad or frustrated, and it does actually make me feel better!
Reduces risk for diabetes and heart disease?
It lowers your LDL (bad cholesterol), increasing HDL (good cholesterol), lowering your blood pressure, and improves the way your body utilizes sugar! Who knew!?
Creates a feeling of confidence?
How could you not have a little boost of confidence when you feel like the Hulk? Ok or maybe just Wonder Woman.

So, if it has all of these benefits, what the heck are you waiting for? Go pump some weights!