5 Month Motivational Slump

 I thought I'd go over the last 5 months with you. I feel embarrassed because there isn't much progress. I haven't wanted to post because I didn't want to show too much negativity. But this is reality here, and I want to be real with you. I worked out pretty heavily for about 2 months, and although my endurance improved, it seemed like my body was not even responding. I got frustrated. I was bummed. I didn't want to put in so much time, energy, and effort, just to see no improvement in my physical appearance.

This is from June, I think. I had been going pretty strong for about a month at this point. No weight lost whatsoever. 

This was July I believe. I guess my stomach wasn't poking out quite as far, but it was also a different angle.

This is when I got really frustrated and discouraged. Maybe it was just my outfit, but when I saw myself in the pictures from my vacation, I was so disappointed in my effort. It was like none of it mattered. I was mad at myself for letting myself get this far, and also mad that my body wasn't responding to my sudden increase in physical activity.

This is after the vacation, one of the few times I decided to go to the gym. I tried real hard to just keep going. 

This is the most recent workout I did just a few days ago.

Ok, so I know that is just a tiny peek into what the last couple months have been. It has been a whirlwind. Up and down and all over the place. Even though I told myself I was going to take it slow, I still overworked myself. I still tried to force my body to change by lifting heavy weights and running faster and faster. I slipped into wanting immediate results. I don't know for sure that it is bad to push hard. I guess it works for a lot of people. It even used to work for me. Maybe it is my age? Maybe I just didn't give myself enough time and effort? I'm not sure. But I didn't see what I wanted to see. Then the vacation. Then a lack of motivation. Then school started along with a new schedule. Then stress. Then nothing. 

For too long I have let food control me. I've let emotions control me. I've let people control me. I've let guilt control me. I've let doubt and fear control me. It's time for me to control them. No more of this sad, discouraged, depressed, bullshit story I keep telling myself. I deserve more than that. 

I am not giving up. I am not going to quit, because I need to take care of myself. I deserve to be fit and happy and healthy. I deserve to accomplish my goals. So, here's to the journey of moving forward and not looking back. To act, and not be acted upon. I am not going to let my story end here. I am the one who gets to choose my fate! I get to decide who I decides who I am and who I want to be. *fist pump*

Instagram, Progression not Perfection

It has been quite the year since I have last posted! So many wonderful, awful, hard, awesome, and regular everyday things have happened. I would love to say that I lost a whole bunch of weight and feel better than ever, but I haven't and I don't. (At least not physically) But I've learned some things about myself (like how I don't deal with stress well!), and I am trying to get back on track with my health again. 

I decided to go the Instagram route because it is so easy to snap a photo and write a little snippet to keep myself motivated. I have only been doing it for a week, but so far I am loving doing it this way. Here are just a few of the things I've documented so far. 

Me after a workout at the gym. Yep. I've officially become one of "those people" who take selfies of themselves. Mostly I am doing it to track my progress though, so hopefully it doesn't seem like I am just way into myself. ;) Not gonna lie, I feel silly trying to take pictures of myself in public. Oh well though!

I like to find motivational quotes to make me think and to remind myself I've got what it takes!

So, I love food. I figured this would be a great way to document what I eat throughout the day, and it would motivate me to eat more colorful foods because it looks more presentable! I haven't documented everything I eat yet, but it actually has helped some! 

I thought this quote was perfect for my circumstances. It is so important to never give up, even if you get off track like I did for awhile. I love that as long as I am alive there is still an opportunity to try again.

I found an app for my phone called Fitness Buddy, you've probably heard of it, but it is so awesome. You can log in your weight, body measurements, and it will track your progress for those as well as creating your own custom workouts where it can track the weights and reps you do so you can see how you progress there too. So awesome! It's cool because there are so many exercises you can add to it so that you aren't doing the same things every day.

Well, that's pretty much what I am doing! 

Feel free to find & follow me on Instagram! My account name is fit_real_life, and I decided to go for that name because I am trying to be real. I am by no means going to be perfect and I am going to stumble at times still. My philosophy right now is that my life is real, and I have to be real about what I can accomplish. My goal is to be fit, not skinny; healthy, not health-obsessed; progress, not perfection. 

Short Update

Oh hello, it has been a great while since I have last posted here.
I just wanted you all (if anyone is even reading this anymore, lol) to know that I have not given up on my health goals and journey. Things have changed dramatically though and my approach is different. In case you didn't know, I was diagnosed with PCOS last September and have been doing things that you can read about here ever since.

I won't update you on all of that because it is tiring and redundant.. but what I will tell you is that I feel much better now than I did. Knowing why I was gaining weight is comforting, even though it is still frustrating! :) I have tried hard to incorporate more exercise into my routine and I am learning about foods that help with insulin resistance. There is a whole lot of health jazz I could go into, but I will spare you and just tell you to go read my PCOS blog. (I'm nice that way... haha.)

As far as weight goes, I haven't lost any but losing pounds is no longer my goal. It is way too frustrating to track that. Instead I am paying more attention to how I feel as far as energy and attitude and how I am improving in my fitness abilities and food habits. I have definitely seen an improvement on my energy as I have incorporated exercise and my PCOS vitamin supplements. Food is continuing to be a struggle, but I do think I have gotten a better handle on my cravings. Some weeks and days are better or worse than others.

Yep, that is pretty much it right now. Sorry it has been so long!